Monday, May 13, 2013

W.I.W.S... Again.

This is what I wore Sunday.  I also wore it for my son's First Holy Communion on Saturday,  and for our homeschooling group's annual May crowning the day before that.   And this is the outfit I'd worn last Sunday (when this picture was actually taken); come to think of it, I posted on this outfit already!

The most comfortable dress, given my belly and the weather, wins.

Last Sunday, revisited.
Dress: mystery maternity, because the tag was removed and it came to me via my friend, Christina
Sweater:  Obviously maternity, but I left it in the car and can't check...
Black Sandals (not pictured): Marshall's purchase, super comfy
Same dress, sans sweater, Saturday.


I went to Mass alone for Mother's Day.  The kids' final CCD class and rehearsal for next week's Children's Mass fell too crazy-early for me to deal with after two days of non-stop-on-my-feet-ness, so my husband drove them to an earlier Mass (8:15).  Thus, they could indulge in all of the goodies they wanted at their class parties afterwards, and I could stay home with my feet up, put the prescribed cold compresses/cream/ spa gloves on my rash-riddled hands, and then take a 90-minute nap.

Best and most needed Mother's Day Gift, ever.

The girls came home and presented me with the roses they'd gotten on their way out of church.  Since I am too big & burned out to rummage around for one of our nice bud vases, I used a Bud vase of another sort.  Because this is how I roll these days.  And I look forward to a post-delivery brew, you know... to aid in let-down and all of that.  (The Mama's know what I mean.  If you have to ask, you don;t want want to know.  Or Google it.  Just sayin'.)

This works for me.
I was relieved and liberated to read Calah Alexander's blog post about Mother's Day. This is how I have come to feel about the day.  Admittedly, I struggled with some co-Dependent guilt about our not doing anything for my mother-in-law; in fairness to myself, I'd pushed my body hard for two solid days (and also for two weekends running) and needed to stay home and rest.  Sound boring?  Nah.  I call it serene.  But my days of fantasizing/desiring brag-worthy gifts are long gone.  I realize I am just often a burden as a blessing in how I live out this vocation as wife and mother. 

There was also an awesome blog that showed up in my FB newsfeed earlier today (I'd thought it was Calah but I don't see it in her blog), and I am kicking myself for not sharing the post, because I want to revisit it again and now I can't find it.  This particular mother blogger was having her "most difficult pregnancy;"the title had something to do with Contemplating the Incarnation on My Kitchen Floor.  Hence, my google search for said topic is yielding flooring adverts. Help! Anyone?  Because I have shed more crazy-anxious-sad-weird tears in this pregnancy than during any other, and so I totally relate to this woman's experience.

Furthermore, my husband needs to know he is not alone in having to shoulder the cross of his ever-weepy wife.  For instance, last night I wept before falling asleep.  Emre, startled and concerned, asked me what was wrong, if I was OK, why was I crying...  And as I paused in the darkness, trying to find words to express my sadness and fear in that moment, what came out was, "I am afraid of 'failing at labor.'"

What does that even mean?!  I dunno.  Wait and ask me to explain when that feeling sweeps over me again.  Its been about five hours; I'm thus overdue for another crying jag, so you should get the opportunity soon.

Here I am at week 36, huge in the belly, feeling all those fun full-term-now physical sensations that our Creator wisely wired up for us to get us to actually look forward to what lies ahead to get that baby out and in our arms.  (Again, in sensitivity, I shall leave it at that.)  Emotionally I have never been this anxious/fearful/uptight about the start of labor.  I have read that its in the realm of normal to feel this way, which is a relief.  (And why I'd like to rediscover that blog post!)

All that said, I'd best stop here and amble waddle to bed.  One never knows when labor will begin (tonight?  tomorrow?  next week?  June?), and I have noticed a direct link between my ramped-up feelings and late hours on the clock. 

I've also digressed way off topic.  Mea culpa!  Check back with Fine Linen and Purple to get yourself back on the fashion-minded track. 

4 comments:

  1. Wishing you all the best in your last weeks of this pregnancy! Hope the emotional roller coaster isn't too bumpy and yay for comfy dresses, you look great!

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    1. Sorry for my blogging ignorance, I was trying to figure out how to email you, but of course I couldn't figure it out, so I thought I would post here and hope you see it.
      Anyway, you have been on my mind a lot lately and I pray you are well as I am pretty sure your due date is either near or past. I hope you have been able to get some rest and finish your 'nesting'.

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    2. Thank you so much, Angela! I am at 39 weeks and I am still hanging in there... Life has been hectic, and so my blog has had to take a backseat for a few weeks.. although I have several ideas in the pipeline, and hope to get time enough/rest enough/ coherent thoght enough to post something tomorrow! God bless you, and thank you for your prayers!

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