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This was not the season for pregnant women to watch Downton! Oy! Emre had read the spoilers so I knew what was coming, and it still upset me. Curse you, Dan Stevens, for refusing to renew your contract! Okay not literally "curse," but... could you work up feeling a little contrite for this, please. Couldn't he have worked with Mr. Fellowes to end the season on a happy note, thus allowing me to fully recover from Sybil and not have to be pregnant through two major post-delivery tragedies?!
Oh well. At least it wasn't Christmas here when this aired.
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My personal soliloquoy this week has been "To Homeschool or not to Homeschool?" I have been strutting and fretting my way around the house, feeling full of sound and fury, and signifying nothing. That interior destructive voice is at it again, pointing out the many ways I fail at this.
The fact that all of my kids are learning and moving forward does not help to lift the angst I'm mired in; I feel like a disorganized failure. I chalk it up to: February funk-it-is, pregnancy exhaustion/body changes, and the everyday stresses of my own unique life.
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However, since I also have experienced some intense anxiety this month (to the tune of physical symptoms: muscle aches, chills, feelings of panic) I've returned to weekly therapy to work out what lurks inside of me; something within needs my attention. I'll blog more on this topic as I get closer to whatever the "it" is.While I was at it, I sprang for this very cool timer, which John Paul's Occupational Therapist uses and recommends. The little dude had an excellent and impressive half hour at the O.T. on Thursday, showing her a lot of progress in his fine motor skills, focus, and receptivity to instruction. We were both bowled over with his behavior/demeanor and work ethic, which also went a long way towards boosting my flailing February self-esteem. Afterwards I bought us all lunch at the McD's Drive-thru.
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With regard to squashing my funk, this week I made it a point to: write/post on my blog more often, take more photos, plan/prepare more healthy/yummy dinners, and start our homeschooling days early (as in 7:30 am, still-in-P.J.'s-early). Since shopping-therapy has helped countless others, I also bought a globe on the recommendation of Dweej at House Unseen, Life Unscripted.
I am geeky enough to be excited for it to arrive in the mail!
A mid-week frustrated shout-out on my Facebook status inspired my friend Christina to set aside some "mommy kvetch" time for us. The children and I went to visit on Friday. While our kids enjoyed time sledding on the hill in her backyard, we settled into tea and I aired my worries and frustrations with home educating. Cue exhale. There is nothing like tea and another homeschooling mom to unload on! Christina listened without judgement, and offered some non-critical suggestions that did not require me to up and change/renounce everything I do. I left her home feeling better (and soon to be better dressed, since she passed along some lovely maternity wear!)
O My Queen, O My Mother, I love you and give myself to you.
I give you this day my eyes, my ears, my mouth, my heart, my whole self. Since I am yours, keep me and guard me as your child forever. Amen.
Again: no one "gets" a mom quite like another mom.
Thanks for hearing me! For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!